Fist Pump Friday: LOVE COME DOWN Edition

Sorry for no posts -- we can haz technical difficulteez. Sucked. No interwebs today until juuuuust right about now.

Anyway, here is a song from P Diddy that doesn't entirely suck.

That's about the best we can give it right now, will need several more listens to let it sink in.

Meanwhile, please to enjoy the beat and limited shots of Diddy attempting to dance because God knows that shit ain't good for nobody.

FRIDAY!

"Accidents"

***kog: why is accidental overdose so hot right now
***kog: im like HELLO, accidental?
***kog: what does that mean?
ghill*******ar: like it's not suicide
ghill*******ar: but WOOPS i have taken 15 different drugs
***kog: just having a really good time and ending up dying?
ghill*******ar: basically
ghill*******ar: remember when that crazy bitch c***
ghill*******ar: found out her boyfriend cheated on her?
***kog: yea
ghill*******ar: he said he "accidentally fingered" a girl
ghill*******ar: WOOPS!
***kog: i hate when that happens
ghill*******ar: slip and fall
***kog: especially at work
ghill*******ar: there should be a medic alert bracelet about that
***kog: freal

Nicole Kidman will be playing this lady/man

ghill*******ar: btw did you hear about this movie the danish girl?
ghill*******ar: with nicole kidman playing the world's first post-op tranny?
***kog: i heard about it awhile ago, they are really doing it?
***kog: so nicole will be in man makeup
***kog: and gwyneth is playing her lover
ghill*******ar: yesh
ghill*******ar: but like, he became a tranny cause the wife asked him to model as a woman
ghill*******ar: and he was like, oh this is kinda hot!
ghill*******ar: and got into it. ghill*******ar: then they stuck ovaries and a uterus in him.
ghill*******ar: and he died.
***kog: WHAT.
ghill*******ar: yeah this was in like 1910
ghill*******ar: they didn't know what was up.
***kog: bad plan
ghill*******ar: the dr's were totally just like, i dunno? let’s throw a uterus on it and call it a day ***kog: yea totally

Monday Morning Gross-Out: The Miracle of Life is RUINING My Life Right Now Edition

This is what the world's smallest woman looks like when she's preggo with a normal human-sized baby. Sorry, this should be all meaningful and wonderful and we should all rejoice for the resilience of life and procreation, but this picture is bringing on the dry heaves for real.

Among other things, WTF is that giant syringe of pink gloop about???

Fist Pump Friday: CAT AND MOUSE Edition

A simple song about meeting a dude and letting him know right off the bat that you'd rather just bone than actually date. Please to enjoy your new Friday themesong...

The mega-gay thing is, the full vidya is not on youtube, so you have to go to THIS SITE to hear the full thing. But you can watch the vid for more info on these people, who are sure to go down in history as just yet another one-hit-wonder.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Mean Girls: Senior Edition

***kog: i think when we get older we should live in the same senior home
ghill*******ar: DUH
ghill*******ar: terrorize that bitch
***kog: when i have dimensia and have 14 baby dolls as roomates
***kog: and i wear plaid pants and hike them up to my moobs
***kog: and you will have two LONG strands of gray hair down to your ass ghill*******ar: for real
ghill*******ar: and you are basically going to be the old man from UP
***kog: yep
ghill*******ar: and we'll just yell at each other all day every day
***kog: mmm hmmm
ghill*******ar: and we will have the BEST table in the dining room and supervise that bitch
ghill*******ar: fucking mean girls, senior edition
***kog: DUH
***kog: if you wear depends YOU CANT SIT WITH US!
ghill*******ar: and on tuesdays we wear pink
ghill*******ar: while we date all these geezers and sleep around

***kog: duh the i will call you the black widow
***kog: you'll do the walk of shame, with a walker
ghill*******ar: seriously
ghill*******ar: and you'll be aimlessly wandering with arms ful of babies
ghill*******ar: in your tightie whities
***kog: can you drink in senior homes?
ghill*******ar: why not?
ghill*******ar: if we have cool grandkids
ghill*******ar: they can help us out
***kog: yea happy hour from 4-6
ghill*******ar: 3-5 pls
ghill*******ar: oldies eat no later than 5:30
***kog: that sounds better
***kog: for real
***kog: like when you are a ho in the nursing home ***kog: you will have make out in the dudes room
***kog: roll off him and just piss in the bed, cause there will be a bed pan
ghill*******ar: hahaha
ghill*******ar: roll off him? you think i will be on top at that stage in life?
ghill*******ar: nope
ghill*******ar: i'm almost too lazy to do that now
***kog: please those dudes have beetis backis
ghill*******ar: hahaha
***kog: seriously when we take tours my first question will be
***kog: can i drink here?
ghill*******ar: no, you say, "i will be drinking here. can you deal with that?"

Zombie Office

ghill*******ar: i am a ZOMBIE today

ghill*******ar: and i have 3 goddamn meetings this afternoon
***kog: i cant talk to anyone
***kog: cause i look SO HUNGOVER
***kog: i forgot to put product in my hair
***kog: so i have peach hair
ghill*******ar: love that.
ghill*******ar: did you remember to brush your TEETH
***kog: I DID
***kog: twice
ghill*******ar: nice
ghill*******ar: do you have metal taste hangover mouth?
***kog: yes
***kog: if someone starts with me today
***kog: like starts asking for a bunch of shit
***kog: im gonna do the "bitch, please"
***kog: hand UP
***kog: put yo hands UPPPP
ghill*******ar: that's the worst thing
ghill*******ar: i am so busy today
***kog: GAY
ghill*******ar: so much to get done and i like can't even see
***kog: dumb
***kog: if i walk to the kitchen right now i might faceplant into a table
***kog: how amazing would that be ***kog: all the girls would scream
***kog: and i would roll over and smile
ghill*******ar: you should do that
***kog: BLOOD SMILE
ghill*******ar: zombieland
***kog: then all my teeth would crumble ghill*******ar: the ryan special
***kog: like i could do like the stumble diagonal for awhile
***kog: then CRASH INTO A TABLE
***kog: but when i would start to scramble
ghill*******ar: do the pinball
***kog: i would start going REAL fast
***kog: making the impact INTENSE
ghill*******ar: duh
ghill*******ar: shame spiral of DOOM
***kog: yes
***kog: all of these things
***kog: GO BACK TO YOUR SHAME CAVE RYAN!
ghill*******ar: yup